The yahoo IM window pops on my screen and I read the words, "are you broken?" I sit there and stare at the screen for a minute thinking. Do I tell my friend the truth or do I laugh it off? I type the words back with my
Kristen ITC font in hopes that the truth will set me free. "Yes". He goes on to ask me, "Can I fix you?" At this point I feel the tears welling up in the corner of my eyes. I hold back the tears out of habit because I have on make up. After realizing that I am home, I let the tears flow. It only took a couple of questions and the tears are present. I answer him back, "I hope so." "What tools do I need?", he asks me. The list flowed from my finger tips like it was branded on them; your ear, understanding, acceptance, friendship. Now mind you he wasn't even referring to my mental but only my status message that read "experiencing technical difficulties".
My sis Tracey has been expressing her inner thoughts in her
blog and this has been tremendously helpful for her. Well, here is my story. The series of blogs coming will be about my love lost story. I will be trying my hand at healing myself, acknowledging my current emotional state and picking up the pieces of my broken heart. Also, I will attempt to tell this story in a way that will be truthful account from my eyes. This is in no way an attempt to bash my ex. Because, I still love him. And for those that have read my "Bubbles" blog. My bubble has been burst and the this is the clean up and build up process. If you would like to read that blog,
click here.
3 people feelin' some type of way:
I wish I could tell you this is gonna be an easy process. I wish I could tell you that like the sunrise when you get done this will wash all the pain away.
It won't but what this should allow you to do is explore exactly how you feel without beating yourself up to much, it took two people to make this bed, two people to mess it up. And right now all you gotta do is figure out a way to get your head back above the covers.
Don't carry a piece of baggage that ain yours and only unpack yours when you get good an ready. Don't be rushed, don't feel you need to hide something until later, and don't forget your friends are here and we all love you and are ready to help you through the parts that we can.
ok, I just want you to know that you made me cry. This week has been hard. And it was my fault. I will admit that. Well, I blame PMS too..lol
Love you T..
Hey I've already gone through this process. think of some of the blogs you saw me write. Now yes mine had a chance to be repaired but it was only because I was able to deal with my frustrations first.
Cause seriously when the pain is still right there and you haven't dealt with it every word they say is like a knife in the heart, and everytime you long for their embrace is like the opening of an old wound.
Been there, done that have the scars to prove it but I also have the freedom of already dealing with it to now be able to talk to her without it all being about how I was done wrong and me shouting at her until she admits it and apologizes until I am satisfied.
Love is an addiction, when we get hooked we get hooked hard and when it goes away I dare you to find me a DT thats as hard to deal with. Like I said we're all here for ya, so don't go at it like your all alone.
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