My Philosophy on Mutual Friends

As you can see from the title, this blog will be about MY thoughts, beliefs and views on the subject 'mutual friends'. These are my own views. I speak for no one...there is no need for a pic for distractions. Let's get into this right here before I start my long day....

Friends are special because no matter how many friends you come in contact with there is always a different bond. Every bond you have with each dear friend is unique. Sometimes we have such a great friendship with someone that we want to share it with others. That is wonderful. There is nothing wrong, as far as I'm concerned, with linking others that you think will hit it off. HEY! You will have two friends near and dear to you that much closer. That "Sharing is caring" motto is real for me and for so many others around me. Share. Haven't we been told this from day one as children?! Okay. Now, once you link your two friends together if it goes well they will have a unique bond of their own. Beautiful chains are only special links placed together to make a pretty necklace that represents the symbol of infinity, eternity. Love it! Good stuff.

However, there are times when things go wrong. You introduce these two people and it is very obvious they are not feeling each other. It happens. No need to get your panties/tighty whities in a bunch. Your intentions were in the right place and you couldn't foresee the possible friction. For whatever reason your two friends don't feel cool vibes, positive energy, or share similar crucial outlooks that shape a friendship. Whoops! Again, we are so uniquely different it is bound to happen. In the meantime, don't stop being the friend you are known to be to both of these people. You still have a bond and that bond should not be shunned because of a little kink in the chain. This is the area of concern. See you took a leap of faith to bring two people together and it went south. You gambled with the harmonious synergy. Unfortunately, now things can be a little bit awkward, but it's nothing your love and support can't fix. Continue to be you. Don't become the messenger. Don't become the sound board beyond your comfort zone. Don't encourage gossip. If problems arise, tell said friend to talk to your other friend. Stay out of it.

Sit tight. Now we are going to tread into very deep murky waters. Let's tippy toe up on this one. Okay? Friends are not limited to the same gender. Love is a beautiful thing. It really is and yes I said it. The thought process while indulging in this action can bring about all types of emotions. You feel so good with this person you want to scream it from the roof tops. Tell it on the mountain, Oh my darling.. YES!!! I LOVE HE!! THIS DUDE IS THE BOMB-DIGGITY! I've been there. Those in your tight friendship circle will know this man/woman eventually. This is where things get difficult and I see some women in particular have a hard time deciphering the obvious boundaries. It's like there are signs all around.. "do not enter", "stop", "yield". You have to know people in order to pull this one off. I've met boyfriends from friends and it's wonderful. I get a chance to meet that special person in her life that has her glowing, skipping, frolicking in the meadows, getting warm sand in between her toes and things of that nature. Good stuff right?! However, if you don't know this is a touchy area and how it can go south FAST, let's get into this. I know this from personal experience. And I had to learn my own hurtful confusing lesson. I once shared my ex in a way that I should not have done and girlfriends unbeknownst to them crossed the line. This was my naive fault and I take full responsibility for the outcome.

If your sista comes to you at a party, and introduces you to her boo boo...know this before you go any further..

1) Do not exchange phone numbers with this girl's man.

2) Do not share inside jokes with this girl's man (fuck y'all got to talk about while SHE is not around..wtf?!)

3) NEVER ..and I mean NEVER find yourself in a room alone with this girl's main squeeze. See this shit right here.. this shit right here yo.. not a good look. You going to her man or EX man's (yeah, we gon go there) house to chit chat is just... ok, I just don't get that.

I won't form any judgments. But, yo WTF is that? Why? MY philosophy..I don't care how cool this dude was when she introduced me to him. All bets are off once said relationship is done. Now, I'm not going to avoid the dude in the street or walk over his dead body refusing to help with the authorities figure out his identify. NO. But, I don't need to talk to this dude in private, because the whole and ONLY reason for our little play play friendship was because of our connection with my friend. PERIOD! Honestly, I don't understand anyone that doesn't get that. And if you don't, I don't get you. We are all different so I won't understand everything people do but that right there....I don't GET.

I've learned recently that our litte friendship circles are very small. Yeah, it's a small internet world. Let's say I don't like a particular chic. I let her know how I feel about something she did. We got it out in the air in a forum where she could voice her concerns as well. The result was an ended friendship. Life is not always easy or fair. Then I see this chic chatting it up with my friend or better YET my ex man. It is not my duty to make it known how I feel about this woman. If we don't get along or if we had an argument, a run in.. that has nothing to do with our 'mutual friend'....get over it. If something is wrong, she will see it. What? You think you are the only one that is knowledgeable enough or observant enough to see if someone is fucked up. If this girl is fucked up, my friend will see it. I don't have a special spidey sense that no one else is privy to. Guess what? You listening? Could it be that you are fucked up and eventually 'said' friend will see it and come to her own conclusion. People are not stupid. I allow people to be free thinkers around me. I wouldn't have it any other way. If you are my friend, and we are cool I'm sure you will be able to make those determinations on your own. It is not my responsibility to put a BUG in your ear that will obviously be biased, one sided or from a hurtful place.

There is so much more I could say on this topic. I think this is enough to get some dialogue going. Talk to me family.. talk to me....