BEWARE: Watch the Fight

When we are on good terms in a variety of different relationships (friend, lover, family), we never can fathom the unthinkable. The unthinkable in question today is ... you being the subject of their anger or misunderstanding. We will speak about fights today...the fights we can predict. The start of something new is always sweet and most times uninterrupted. You almost feel like nothing and no one can come between your bond or loyalty to that person. Depending on the level of the friendship we share, compare and encourage through similarities in our life walk. BUT..we never share everything. We always, most times unknowingly, leave out some of the button pushers, over the edgers and triggers that will set one OFF! And you know what, there is nothing wrong with that. Most times, we were not even aware it would anger us. This gives your friend and yourself the opportunity to learn that much more about you and what ticks you off.

Along the road certain situations, people and other outside elements come in your way as a test to your loyalty. Tests are always great when you can find yourself on the other side having passed with flying colors. But, unfortunately I've found that CERTAIN relationships don't stand the test of time when outside elements meet with our sometimes stubborn outlook on life. How do you predict the arguments? Watch the fight...Christiana paints a very vivid picture, by way of an real life example of how you can observe your friends. By observing you will find out if you want to get in DEEP with them, keep your distance or cut them off completely.

She betta preach!

You learn so much by just observing how your friends/lovers/family members fight. It may take you a minute to witness it. Stick around after the happy days. Pull up a chair on their worst days and watch carefully. I know it's hard to pull yourself away from that euphoric feeling you get because you are in GOOD with the person you love or adore. But, I challenge you to step back from it for a minute and put yourself in the opposing person's shoes. What do you see? Would you be able to handle the personal back slaps, verbal jabs and/or character assassination? Do they fight fair? I know what you are thinking...ummm...Joy, how do you fight fair? Yes, the point of the fight is to win the point or the physical challenge. However, in all fights there are always boundaries, no fly zones, if you will. OK, let's talk about this for a minute. A fair fight is one where both sides ACKNOWLEDGE, UNDERSTAND and RESPECT.... the stakes, the causes, the consequences, the boundaries and the rules. From personal experience, I will never allow myself to get close to another person that fights as if you are a stranger on the street. When their back is up against the wall, they pull out EVERY personal thing you've told them in the most disrespectful way. Even I had to learn to fight in a healthier way. We get blindsided by the need for revenge and we gather reinforcements. Not pretty. Relationship fighting may leave your opponent feeling defeated but you will not escape unscathed. Most times, NO one wins.

Now, after you have made an assessment of what you see, proceed accordingly. BELIEVE in what you see...KNOW that you are not above being in that very position if you trigger this person unknowingly. No matter how close you think you are to someone..EVEN family..you can one day be their enemy. Take heed my friends.

Make sure you check this young lady out...she is on point!

A great analyzer of our behaviors in friendships.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/Xiana87

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