Better to have loved...

Disclaimer: Umm..you may find these ways of thinking cynical or down right depressing. But, I like to practice thinking outside the box sometimes. Proceed cautiously.

Most of my critical thinking either happens on the train or when talking to a dear friend. Today, my thoughts were birthed while speaking to my sista friend. Let's get right to it.

Alfred Lord Tennyson says, "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

I never did understand this quote. And I don't believe it to be truth in my life. I can only speak for myself. I feel .. "it's better to have never loved and lost, than to have loved, lost and have it wiped away" At least this way you still have the hope in the possibility. Hope can last forever; surpassing any lost love. I feel there is victory in not having your hopes and dreams killed by the reality we accept. So if you are able to go through life with your beliefs, hopes, and dreams intact and never allowed life to taint it; you are truly blessed.

Yes, you are saying, "oh Joy, that is not living". But, when you really look at it how is that NOT living. Having your beliefs, hopes and dreams shaken by the reality you partake in, is living? What is so much better about loving and losing it? As opposed to never loving and knowing what you missed? So when you get the opportunity to partake in "love", now you know it will end. What is love amongst two people if one is not acting on it or one is no longer driven by it? Love happens. In the meantime, we coddle it, nurture it, protect it, validate it and then BOOM it's gone. And we are like ...oh well, at least I experienced love. HUH? Nah, I'm not interested and like my boys from Maroon 5 says, "Nothing Lasts Forever". And if it's NOT forever, I'm not interested.

My sista then brought it to my attention that there are people experiencing this everlasting love. And I was like, I'm sure they are. But, the thing is, this love is not for everyone. Just because some have been blessed with its existence doesn't mean it's meant for all of us. Maybe we are here to engage in other things. Which leads me to the other misleading saying...

"There is someone for everyone."

Who says? Who said there is someone for everyone? Who is insuring us of this guarantee? See, we have all acted on these sayings like they are TRUTH for everyone and it's not. These quotes come from those that believe in its meaning from their own experience. We act on them because we truly believe there is someone for us out there. Once we act on what other people deem as a universal life truth, we mess ourselves up. But, think about that, what if there is no one for you out there and you are meant to be alone to do work in another area of life. Ever thought about that? Do we get what we want because we think we want it or deserve it?

So what do we do while not in love? As for me...indulge in those things I like from the person I care for and leave the other stuff alone. What are those things?!...the giddy moments, long phone conversations about everything, sleeping together and just listening to their breathing pattern, sex...etc. All the other stuff..not interested. There is no guarantee for me. I just catch loving acts here and there.

What say you about my questions?

Why is it better to have loved and lost?

AND

Who said there is someone for everyone? Is this a guarantee of some sort? and if it's a guarantee, do I get my money back?

o_O