lessons learned

In these last couple of months I've made great strides to closing chapters in my life. While building the strength to face pain and tough obstacles I've learned some lessons. I wrote a blog a while back with all the lessons I'd learned. Well, with life one can hardly avoid learning more.

The strength and courage that resides in me scares me sometimes. The fears that I've been able to tackle successfully leaves me wondering..who am I? My sis told me a while back that there are two words one needs to tell themselves in order to make a mental leap to the next step in life. Our lives are full of challenges for us to make leaps and bounds on faith that we will land on the ground. Well, she told me to say two words to myself and MEAN it..and those two words are, "Fuck it!". These two words voiced in this context simply means...1)what do I have to lose? and 2)This mountain before me WILL move. Yeah, before getting on the stage at the Bassline and The Shrine to spit poetry I said out loud ..."Fuck it!". Before making a phone call to someone I missed dearly and I hadn't talk to in a year, I said out loud ... "Fuck it!". Before confronting a co-worker about a disrespectful email, I said out loud ... "Fuck it!" Just like my sis said, the words leave you feeling so liberated ready to take on the world. If you can get those two words out of your mouth and MEAN it...there is nothing you can't do.

Also, I learned that this life is like a revolving door. You go in the door with the intentions to get to the other side. But, we are distracted by life's challenges and we miss the opening. So, we just keep going around and around. We think the mountains called trials and tribulations are SO great that we over compensate, not knowing the solutions are simple. The solutions may cause pain but the answers are already in our conscious. It doesn't take 3 tries, 1 year, or sleepless nights to get there. I wish we as a people were not so hard headed. But, we have to keep running into that brick wall and/or keep going around in circles in the revolving door. Fatigue is inevitable. Once we get tired, we learn a great deal about our life journey. Full of energy, no one can tell you anything. But, once you get exhausted the lesson is so much easier to receive. So I guess we all have to keep running and going around in circles until we get too tired to have our own misguided agendas.