Truth Day 3. I'm only human

3. something I have to forgive myself for

So many different things popped up in my head that I beat myself up about daily that I couldn't stick to just one. So I will just say, I'm only human. One thing I will say specifically is...I need to forgive myself for making my mother cry. I will never forget it. The first time I saw my mother cry was because of my actions; getting pregnant at a young age and on top of that not telling her. I understand now that I was only 16, naive and ignorant, but back then it broke me up. For years her tears served as the fuel to help me get my high school diploma and then move on to receive 2 year college degree. I had something to prove. I didn't want my mother's disappointment to be the last thing she sees in me.

Overall, I beat myself up about a lot of different things daily and they are all wrapped up in me being human. I will even admit that these things are what is taking up mental space in my head. If only I could let them go, forgive myself maybe I can be able to use that extra space to fill it up with something pleasant. The other big one that comes to mind is I have to forgive myself for the grave mistake of marrying my ex-husband. In my next blog I will explain how I need to forgive him for a lot of different things. Most of the things I need to forgive him for happened after we separated.

My sistas always suggest that I say positive affirmations to myself...change my negative mental replay. Sometimes I get lost in beating myself up over simple mistakes people make every day. Where do I get off thinking I'm perfect or something?! Where do I get this idea? Why am I so unreasonable with myself? *sigh* I don't know. But, I'm only human and I know I have to forgive myself.