One Blog for All Those Days

#12- a day you wish you could do differently

I've had many days that I wish I would have done differently. I chose not to write about those days because it's just too much to place on anyway. I won't get that raw with y'all. However, there have been...

Nights I reflected on a day filled with insults flying my way, but I wasn't equipped with the right equally hurtful insult to hit back. I sink in my bed, the come back line visits me, appearing magically. All I can do is laugh. 

Nights I cringed at my own actions that led to pain inflicted on others; seeing the disappointment in their eyes refusing to speak to me...with no way for me to make excuses for my negligence.

Nights I cried so hard over spilled milk that would take a life time to clean up. Thinking. All I had to do was listen, pay attention. The signs were there.

Nights I sat in darkness listening to the silent whispers of those missed opportunities, blinding moments of rage, and wasted time.

Nights I induced self inflicted wounds to the person in control of nothing but the present. There is no guarantee tomorrow will see me. 

Nights I unsuccessfully attempted to drown out the day's events with music and social media shenanigans. 

Nights disgusted at myself for allowing people entry into my world...to touch my body, to touch my heart, to touch my life. 

It all comes out in the cleansing purges of night.