Butterfly Effect (BE) is one of my names I used for the blog site where I used to blog; Yahoo 360. They are deleting this site to make way for the new yahoo profile site. I'm posting this again because this blog is apart of a bigger story. After I finish this series, that will tell my love story, I will conclude from where this blog left off. Here it goes...
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I surf around 360 and read all kinds of blogs about love. Even some of my friends have found the “love” and speak on it occasionally. Well, BE is here to share with you her take on love and lack thereof.
I will be the first to tell you that my ideas of love and how they are packaged was all wrong in the past. But, once I got an understanding of what this word means my outlook changed. There are many different definitions. Love is said to be a verb where you have to show action in order to put love into play. Love was demonstrated when God gave his son for us. To give of one’s life for another is the ultimate demonstration of love. At other times love is described as having a strong affection for another. Love can also be a choice you make to be there for another person no matter what. Yes, when you first meet someone their appearance is the first thing you see but once you start to get to know them a strong bond sometimes forms. Whatever your definition there are ways we guard ourselves against outside influence that may change or hinder this love.
When you are in love don’t you feel like you are floating on air? Think of a bubble for a minute. Bubbles are formed by the air it’s given, consisting of beautiful colors, yet they are very fragile, delicate. Anything can pop them. Look inside that bubble, your vision will be distorted. All you see are rainbow colors swirling all around. That bubble sometimes floats so high, so high it’s out of sight. But, you will notice that bubble can only go but so high before it pops. Cluster bubbles are those strong ones right? One little blow won’t tear them down. But the weight of the many bubbles formed together can bring it down to the ground. This is when you build bubbles on top of bubbles. Strongest yes, but when this bubble is invaded the clean up can be detrimental.
I have a friend that is the type that if you go to her for advice she will bust your bubble. You’ve heard people say “I hate to bust your bubble”. Well, this is when you are enlightened about something you felt so adamant about just moments before, you see things totally differently once given some insight. This woman could do it in such a way that in just a matter of minutes your whole perception of a given situation changes. It’s not that you are easily swayed; she would use your own words to break down your theory. It’s like a gift or something. I remember building serious bubbles when I used to watch Grey’s Anatomy. Whenever I would see trouble ahead for Dr. Burke and Kristina, I would start to construct my bubble to protect myself from what I saw coming, “the end”. Like: She is just going through a phase; she loves him but she just doesn’t know it yet; or they are just using these arguments to gain ratings, they will be together in the end, I know it. But, once you are presented with a dilemma that contradicts your philosophy, you have to ask yourself questions. When you recognize the error of your way, your bubble has been officially busted. We build all types of bubbles to protect our reality from harm.
How did BE’s love bubbles burst? Well, I pretty much burst many of my own love bubbles with two simple words *high expectations*. Sometimes you can see potential in a relationship. These high expectations were not farfetched. It’s just that the person I was with didn’t see his worth and didn’t think I was worth the effort. He saw me as an opportunity to get ahead. He seriously thought he was doing me a favor. Pain is the other thing that burst my love bubbles. You can experience pain so deep that it doesn’t seem to ever heal. Now, I feel that love is both over rated and can make one weak. Your vision is sometimes cloudy when you are so into someone. You can even lose yourself. Side note: This is the worst thing you can do to me at this point in my life, love or not; accuse me of doing something that I didn’t do when I’m so into you. That shit right there gets me vex. Here I am thinking about you all the time, worrying about you and thinking of ways to make you smile and you don’t believe me or you doubt me. That bites for real. It can tear down a damn bubble. Jealousy, insecurities, selfishness can straight up kill a love bubble.
There is nothing wrong with building bubbles. You just have to be ready for when that bubble is invaded. How will you snap back? How will you recover? I’m sure everyone reading this blog has experienced pain due to love lost. It’s about how you react to that love lost that will help you move on. As for me, I cut the person out of my life totally. This had to be done for several reasons. I will speak more on this when I do my “Emotional Vampire” blog. Sometimes you can continue to have a peaceful friendship with those that have broken your heart and that is commendable but as for me, I had to cut him out completely. This is something I’m really good at and I’m not proud of that. Once you’ve hurt me to a point of no return there isn’t any hope. No lie. I can treat you like I never even knew you.
I’ve said all of this to say that I’m not completely void of love. I got love to give. I just lacked inspiration for building bubbles. I want something built of steel. Cause my bitter; angry bubble has gained a lot of strength over the last couple of years. Just remember that as you build your bubbles for what ever reason, they CAN be burst. I’ve realized this myself over the last couple of months.
To Be Continued…
Isn't it amazing that some people don't care for India.Arie's music?! Crazy!..lol
through lessons learned
while her Butterfly effects Lauriette's Joy.
2 people feelin' some type of way:
Interesting, yet efficient way of breaking things down.
I remember this...
*blowing bubbles*
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