10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
The people I'm about to list here have all been there for me and I show them the best way I can how much I love them. Just straight up love....these people have been there for me and I don't even know why sometimes.. and I love them for it. A lot of things are going on in my life right now and I don't even know how I feel about my mind and body changes...but I'm gonna try this one out. This blog is hard because I feel like almost all of my relationships are strained in some way. But, love remains. Here is part 1...
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My mother - all I can say about my mother is..she gets me. She understands me. She is the one in my corner no matter what. I know if all else fails in my life she will be right there by my side. She sees through my BS too. She loves me enough not to call me on it every single time. I've disappointed her so many times, yet she stays around to see me fall. Even when she should have given up on me, she shows up right on time. I owe her my life. I wanted to be like my mother so bad. She is strong and takes no mess especially from no man. I even went through a phase where I resented my mother because of how perfect she seemed. Of course I know now that she is not perfect, but for a long time I thought my mother could walk on water. She still can in a figurative manner. :) Her faith is unwavering.
My First Born (Khari) - My son is still my little science project. His arrival alone changed me in so many ways. I had him when I was 16 years old. And I didn't know what I was doing with this little boy with the biggest beautiful eyes I had ever seen. My mother helped me so much during my naive teen years. He may not know but I always thought highly of him and that he was so much smarter than me. I guess that is why I was so hurt when he betrayed me in April. I still love him. I can't help it. Just this past weekend while at a birthday party for my daughter at chuck e cheese, he walked up to me and said, "hey mom!" Without even thinking, I turned around and hugged him. I don't know how to stop caring. That love reflex is a mutha, ain't it? :)
The Family Lawyer (my son, Darius) - We are currently going through a trying time right now, but I hope this is just a phase. He is so smart and witty. He is the only child I literally pushed out of my womb. Our connection was has always been a unique one. I want to strangle his neck right now. But, I love him just the same. He keeps me on my verbal toes. And yes, I named him after Darius Lovehall, of course. :) His middle name ... Johari.. my name and my older son's name together. :) Even though the name is supposed to be for a girl according to yahoo...I wanted my son to have a piece of us with him no matter where he signs his name.
My Babydoll, My Lil Cancer Princess (Chloe) - She feels me. She knows when I need a hug. She knows me and I don't know how she know me like that. o_O This child says things so profound sometimes it scares me. While in the car with my mother the other day, I said, I will never drive in New York City. My daughter turned to me with the quickness, put her hand on my hand, and said, "yes you will mom, it is your destiny". O_O Yo, this kid right here, yo. She is the baby. My real life babydoll. Love her!
I pray to God my kids will one day really believe the words in this Musiq Soulchild song about me. For that I know I have to do better as their mothe
3 people feelin' some type of way:
You can't have a testimony without a test. We've all been through it...I still am with one and I've got one more that will hit the teen years in 2 months...pray for me.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You got this, BE. As you already know, there's not much in this world that's greater than a mother's love. Hold fast, Sis.
I love them, too :)
Mother's are awesome and children show us in so many ways that we are too hard on ourselves...they love us unconditionally even when the outside world tries to taint us. your kids are beautiful and your mom is a Diva i see.
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